Ebunoluwa Olore

Sharlene looked at her husband, Martin, from across the dining table. He seemed to be well absorbed in the Daily Times newspaper he was reading, obviously oblivious to the jittery feeling inside of her, like butterflies making a feast in her stomach. Valentine’s Day stood two days away, and she couldn’t wait to be swept off her feet again by the gestures of love from her husband. They had been married for two years now, and each celebration had been wonderfully filled with delightful surprises. She couldn’t wait to see what he had up his sleeves this time. Eager to feed her curiosity, she leaned forward, placing her two hands on the table.

“Hey dear,” she said, with a sweet voice. Martin didn’t seem to have heard her as his eyes remained glued to the newspaper he was reading. She proceeded to poke him on his arm. Martin looked up and arched his eyebrows questioningly.

“I need to speak with you about something”, Sharlene said.

“Are you okay?” Martin asked, his voice etched with concern.

Sharlene laughed softly and nodded her head. “I’m fine.” She cleared her throat and continued “I was just anxious to know what you have planned for Valentine’s Day. You know how you always come up with unimaginable surprises that blow my mind away.” She winked at him.

Martin smiled, and laid the newspaper to rest on the table. Sharlene looked at him expectantly “Oh Lene,” Martin started, “of course I remember those times, it always felt like we were the only two love birds in the world”. He paused, and then his expression turned serious. “However, I have discovered a truth overtime, after studying through some Bible verses, and I have had time to reflect on this so called ‘Valentine’s Day’. Does it really define one’s love for each other? Sharlene looked at him confusingly. Martin continued, “All I’m saying dear, is that the expression of our love shouldn’t be restricted or manifested only on a particular day. There’s no such thing as a ‘lover’s day’ as far as we’re concerned, most especially because we’re Christians.  Our love for each other shouldn’t revolve around a single day or follow the dictates of the world in its expression, but rather, as the Bible advises us to. We should show love to each other every other day.

Sharlene opened her mouth to protest, but Martin held up his hand to indicate he wasn’t yet finished, he took her hands in his “I want to, as often as possible, express my love to you by showering you with gifts, compliments,  taking you out, making sacrifices for you, or anything else possible. I do not need to wait for a particular day to manifest all of that. I can do it every day, if you want, but I will not accord a special day such as ‘Valentine’s Day’ to express that love. Because love is unlimited and knows no boundaries. Love is expressive”. Sharlene looked at him and smiled, understanding dawning on her. She was thankful to God for giving her a husband who was committed to expressing his love for her the right way, as God would want it to be.

Martin in the above story gives us a fractional description of the true nature of love that should be expressed between individuals, irrespective of their relationship level.

 Romans 13: 8 tells us, “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law”. 

 Among other attributes of love, one very distinguishable attribute is that love is unceasing and constant. The above Bible verse explains to us that a debt we will have to continue paying is that of showing love to one another.  The word ‘continue’ depicts without cease or rest, which means ‘everyday’ and everytime.  In other words, love shouldn’t be limited to only one day but should be a habitual action, no matter its intensity.

Valentine’s Day,  on the other hand, has been popularly tagged as ‘lovers day’, which means that a certain day has been dedicated to the expression of love, in terms of exchange of gifts, outings, etc. between lovers. The very significance of the day has bastardized the true meaning and nature of love. If love has to be shown in a particular way, on a particular day only,  then it is not love as it does not follow the true definition of love as recorded in the Bible.  Furthermore, Valentine’s Day has been known to feature all sorts of sexual perversities especially among singles. It has factually been discovered that most girls get pregnant or lose their virginity on that day, so why associate yourself with such a celebration that attaches so many unfortunate happenings to itself? Now among such worldly defenses of this Valentine’s Day is that it serves as an opportunity to renew vows. That is just a blatant lie of the devil. Renewal of vows doesn’t need to be attached to such a day, it can be done anytime,  and can even be expressed during a couple’s wedding anniversary, which can be moderately and decently done with friends and families.

The origin of Valentine’s Day goes way back to the pagan celebration of Lupercalia (the festival of sexual license), held by the ancient Romans in honour of Lupercus, god of fertility and husbandry. And what does God have to say about this in his Word?

Jeremiah 10: 2-4: “Learn not the way of the heathen… for the customs of the people are vain”. 

True Christians believe that God hates any customs, practices and traditions that are rooted in paganism. The futile effort to celebrate love, which has been incorporated into February 14, Valentine’s Day, only makes us alienate ourselves from the true love God wants us to practise. The celebration of Valentine’s Day also narrows our mentality to seasonal manifestation of love. It unconsciously puts us in a compromising state as Christians, as the act of celebration could very well lead us into engaging in ungodly actions.

We do not need to wait for a specific day to show our families, friends or ‘significant other’ how much we love them. We do not need to dedicate a specific time to the expression of our love. Love should be expressed without constraints, without cease. It should be expressed everyday, every time, in and out of season. 1 Corinthians 13 gives us a perfect way to express love the right way continually.

Love is constant, not constricted.